This post is part of the 2018 "If You Write It, They Will Come" AIF Writing Salon.
Please announce your ideas for an AIF game in the comments of this blog
post. Describe the story arc and the characters involved.
The biggest problem faced by new authors is that they work on ideas that
are too ambitious. They decide to write a novel when they should start
with a short story. They don't realize that AIF games involve more work
than normal prose. All the alternate paths and descriptions can easily
add up to a novella-worth of text even for very short games. Another
problem new authors face is that don't realize that certain seemingly innocuous details of their story
ideas might require thousands of words of writing and code. The work
needed to implement a minor character or alternate path can easily grow
out of control.
The Writing Salon is not school. You don't get part marks for partial
answers. If you don't have a finished game by the end of the Writing
Salon, then you have nothing and everyone's time will have been wasted.
So it's important to work on smaller, less ambitious ideas that are
easier to finish. This is not Olympic figure skating. In the Writing
Salon, a successful single axel is worth more than a failed triple axel.
To help you, this stage of the Writing Salon will entirely be focused on
helping authors cut back on their ideas and to see alternate ways of
formulating their stories with the same core characters, emotions, and
sexiness but fewer characters, rooms, and plot points. Other people may
question your ideas and challenge your decisions. Please do not become
too defensive. Although it's always painful to have your ideas be
"attacked" in this way, it is not meant to discourage you but to push
you to see alternate ways of formulating your story. You do not need to
follow the suggestions given, but you should seriously consider it. You
should treat them like comments from an editor trying to help you
improve your work. If someone asks you for more detail about your story,
then please do supply these extra details. Don't think that you'll be
able to figure it out later. You will have to write the text for all
those parts of your game eventually anyway, so it's good to figure out
the details early because sometimes you won't be able to figure it out
later.
Here are some common pitfalls:
Some authors' ideas are based on thinking of all sorts of sexy
situations that they want their characters to go through. Although sexy
situations are a good source of inspiration, authors become too attached
to them even if they are hard to squeeze into short games. Once you
have been inspired by a sexy situation, you should think about the
characters and why the situation is sexy for them. Then, it's easier to
move those characters into different sexy situations.
Do you know why the characters in romance novels always fall in love at
first sight? Because writing about people falling in love is both long
and hard to do. If you include a romance in your game, you should start
with your characters already in love but with some difficulty in the
way.
In the last writing salon, we had several people who were interested in
procedural-style AIF. In my limited experience, procedural games are
designed differently from other games. You should not start with a plot.
Instead, you should focus on the simulation. You want to find a
situation that can be repeated many, many times but which plays out
differently depending on what has happened in the past. You want this
looping situation to be as short as possible so as to minimize the
amount of writing you have to do.
You don't need a fully realized story arc for the Writing Salon, and not
everything important needs to occur in the game itself. You are a
writer. You can summarize characters' experiences in the introduction.
You can allude to previous events in their conversations. Your game can
be a small slice of a bigger story.
If you have something you want to share, just post it as a comment below. Be careful to use a separate account for posting
and not an account you use IRL. Anonymous comments are welcome, but it
would be useful to tag your comments somehow so we know which comments
are from whom. AIF Central sometimes has difficulties dealing with
longer comments, so you may need to break up your posts into multiple
comments. At later stages of the Writing Salon, you can also use GitHub
issues to send text to programmers.
I'm not planning on make my own AIF game for this event since I'm doing the programming for others. To help inspire others though, I am going to throw out one game idea. I played a space colonization Twine game called Seedship at http://philome.la/johnayliff/seedship/play The game only has one choice in it. Colonize or not. But it feels very rich and deep. That style of game would make an interesting dating sim. Maybe a summertime romance where you meet different people and you have only one choice: have a summertime romance or not. And then you get a little story about what happens for the rest of the summer.
ReplyDeleteI had an idea for a story a while back for a mini-comp that might work here actually. It followed a pair of young lovers (Obi and Amara) in an unspecified region of Africa who are asked to guide an American explorer (Mr. Winslow) to an old temple near their village. The temple was alluded to in some historical documents to contain some kind of legendary fertility aid that the explorer has been tasked with finding.
ReplyDeleteWhile exploring the temple the three become trapped and Winslow and Amara are exposed to a powerful aphrodisiac. Obi mistakes the initial symptoms for a terrible fever and escapes through a crumbling hole in the wall so that he can search for a way to get them out. He does not necessarily realize that he has limited time before they succumb to their urges.
Basic gameplay was going to start with Obi squeezing his way out of the room where they are trapped. The game needed to be solved in a certain number of turns or else Obi would arrive to find Amara and Winslow ... enjoying the solitude. =)
The initial idea was to have a handful of rooms designed as puzzles. Since puzzles are often a pain in the neck to guess verbs for I was thinking of including a simple way through each puzzle that ate up more time and a more clever solution that required a bit of thought. For example, puzzling out where a hidden switch that opens a door is vs climbing through the crumbling roof to drop down into the room beyond.
The initial game was just going to cover 3 puzzle rooms and would have only 2 or 3 endings; get there in time, get there too late, and perhaps a hidden ending that I had in mind if Obi does the exact wrong thing at the beginning.
A fun idea and one that at first glance definitely seems like something in the scope of the event. Has a small amount of characters/sexual partners, the area covered is rather small, and the paths seem relatively simple. Obviously getting all the 'guts' of the story is the hard part, but seems like a great start!
DeleteThe scenario is a little unusual. If you win the game, then no sex happens. If you lose, someone sleeps with your girlfriend but it happens in a different room and you don't get to see it.
DeleteI like the central idea of a time limit that you have to race against or someone else will sleep with your lover. I think it would work better if you get to have some sex if you win or if you are in the same room somehow and get to see the sex happening if you lose.
Theme-wise, it reminds me of Odysseus, the Greek king who has to race home before someone else claims his throne and marries his wife. When he arrives back home, he is also disguised as a beggar so no one will recognize him while he figures out how to reclaim his old throne.
DeleteGood points Lost. It would be light on the sex if that is the way it goes. Would need some more info from the author obviously to know for sure.
DeleteCould switch point of view if you lose, the player controlling Winslow for the sex. Winning could have Obi and Amara doing the deed - either there in the temple to stave off the urges, or back in their home after he rescues her. Unless voyeurism was what they are going for, having the player watch.
Regardless, as AIF players do tend to often seek the sex as a sort of reward/win vs. a story that just happens to have sex in it, so I can see where having either case leading to sex would probably be appreciated; especially when the no-sex path is harder to obtain.
Actually kind of a interesting idea there Lost, though I wasn't thinking of that particular story when I was designing this. I'm just something of a fan of wife-swapping/NTR style stories. =P
DeleteYeah, I actually outlined this originally for a minicomp which, as I recall, had some kind of limit on the sex scenes. So the original idea was to go with a voyeurism theme with Winslow and Amara, though for this I would probably expand it into a sex scene with Amara and Obi for a win scenario.
As far as how Winslow/Amara plays out I originally thought of switching controls to Winslow and Amara if the main characters fails but since I would have been the one doing the technical side originally I scrapped the idea as I wasn't sure how to go about it. I also considered having holes in the temple wall where Obi can look in on them in the other room, which then turns into the sex scene if he takes too long. I also wanted to have some kind of passive indicator, maybe Obi hearing panting from the other room or moans or something to alert the player to the imminent intimacy.
I did not realize the NTR aspect was intentional. The game would be a lot simpler if Winslow, Amara, and Obi could see each other somehow. Could they be separated by a chasm due to a bridge collapse? Or Winslow and Amara are stuck on a peak or pedestal and Obi has to get up to them?
DeleteYeah, that's usually a feature at least in most of my stories that I've written, though for a game it probably makes sense to give people some choices since not everyone is into that.
DeleteThe idea that I eventually came up with for the temple's story was that it was the site used for some kind of long lost marriage ceremony, and the priests that ran the temple grew an herb that was a potent aphrodisiac and fertility aid. The marriage ceremony was actually built into the temple I'm thinking, the puzzles were all things that the husband to be had to overcome to reach his new bride to marry her.
I pictured it as an opening in the side of a hill or something as the entrance, leading to a large-ish chamber which is where the actual marriage took place; beyond that was a hallway that led north to a room called the Maiden's Wait, with a branch leading off east that lead to the puzzle rooms. The Maiden's Wait would have another door at the end leading to the first puzzle room.
The couple would enter the Maiden's Wait and the priest would send the husband to be ahead out of the back exit from the Wait into the puzzle room, after which both entrances to the Wait would seal up (portcullises or rolling stones or something maybe), and then the husband would progress through the challenges. Those loop him around to the front entrance of the Wait where he can trigger something to open the doors and retrieve his bride, after which they proceed down the hall to the marriage chamber.
I agree that it would be nice if Obi could see Amara somehow, not sure about the chasm but I could probably work that in somewhere. Originally I was kind of thinking maybe they had some kind of slits in the wall from the puzzle rooms to the Wait or something, allowing the husband to be to look in on his bride to be and be spurred on to completing his challenges. So maybe have it where Obi can peek through those to see what is going on with Winslow and Amara?
You should be careful not to get too attached to a particular scenario because it makes it harder to simplify your game. For an NTR game, characters and their relationships are more important than the scenario.
DeleteHaving a scenario where Amara and Winslow are always visible to Obi reduces the amount of writing by two to three times. You don't need to write the sex scene between Amara and Winslow twice: one when Obi looks through a peephole and another one of what he hears. You also don't need a separate sex scene between Obi and Amara. The programming is much easier too.
Fair point. I can probably find ways to adjust the existing scenario so that Obi can always see/hear them, but if not I could always change the scenario altogether. I sort of had a Temple of Doom style mental image of the temple and I had already considered some slightly fantastical concepts for it, so I could have say, crystal blocks in place of portions of the stone wall that are see through from Obi's end or something maybe, like an archaic police mirror or something. Or I could just have open patches in the walls that Obi and the others in the Wait can see through but I sort of like the idea of them being somewhat isolated from being able to see him.
DeleteIf that scenario isn't working though, could do something similar with Amara and Winslow on an open platform of some kind and Obi has to move from puzzle to puzzle, solving them to cause a bridge to lower and let them escape or something. Hmm, I'd have to think about that one a little more ...
So I've been thinking about it, I'm probably mostly in favor of the ancient police mirror style setup over anything else.
DeleteThe other idea I sort of like, but I feel like it might be difficult to describe in some ways. It's basically the same room structure as before. It would be a platform with a pit surrounding it (the Maiden's Wait) with two bridges leading from it; the platform and pit are surrounded by the puzzle rooms, which do not have a wall on the side facing the pit/platform. Amara, Obi and Winslow would all be able to see each other and talk to one another but until Obi can lower the bridges to free them they would be unable to escape.
I do sort of feel like the second setup has it's own flair, but I'm not entirely sold on it. I could allow the player to then talk to Winslow and Amara, maybe for assistance? Originally I had wanted to add in a 'help' feature of some kind, so that could work. My original idea was that it would be Obi recalling stories told to him by family members about the temple.
Your idea is becoming more complicated not less complicated. You seem to be describing a medium-sized graphical RPG and not a mini text game.
DeleteYou keep mentioning puzzle rooms. What exactly do you mean by that? If you're thinking of some Indiana Jones stuff, then each puzzle room might involve days or weeks of work. Can you make a game with no puzzle rooms instead? Just lowering bridges is already a time-consuming puzzle. Obi would need to find parts, understand the mechanism, etc. And there would be red herrings: can he swing across on a vine or climb down into the pit?
The room structure is too complicated for a text game. It's easy to get lost in text games. If you're drawing a map, then it's too complicated. Why can't it be a straight line?
Having backstory and world detail is good but it's mainly for you. Unless you're brilliant with prose, players don't want to read it. You should be able to immerse the characters in the game in only a few paragraphs.
The help feature is making things even more complicated. Just leave that out for now. Amara and Winslow can be so overwhelmed by lust that they simply ignore Obi.
The second description was intended as an alternative since you mentioned that Obi should be able to see the other characters. I did mention that it wasn't my first choice, I rather preferred my original setup with a bit of tweaking to explain how Obi could see Amara and Winslow.
DeleteThe structure of the game is actually fairly linear; the player starts in room 1 (Maiden's Wait), performs action that moves him to room 2 (no name for that yet). The player uses context clues to determine action that moves them to room 3, then it basically repeats until you run out of time (or actions, I suppose) or move to the final room. I'm calling them 'puzzle rooms' because I really don't have names for them at this point. The idea wasn't to devolve down to the point to where Obi is reading an Ikea assembly manual and building something, he basically looks and sees a handful of object to manipulate; if he picks the right one things move on. There would be no moving backward, each room would contain it's own solution. I figure if someone knows the whole thing already they would probably beat it in like 3 or 4 turns, since they already know what to manipulate to move on. Given that there is a time/turn limit I figure that there's no need to get complex.
And look, I get where you are coming from, but I AM a writer ... not an AIF writer with games under his belt or anything, but someone who actually likes writing stories in general. I'm not trying to make things difficult, it's just that I think of things in terms of story, world and character before anything else.
Ultimately, it's your game. You do what works best for you. If you're able to produce a full transcript for the game, then I'll do my best to code it up.
DeleteI'm just pointing out things that may not be necessary to the mechanics of the game that you might want to consider leaving out to save time if you can think of a way to do it. If you have puzzle rooms, then you need to design the puzzles, write descriptions for how they work, write descriptions for each object in the puzzle, write descriptions for succeeding the puzzle, write descriptions for failing the puzzle, and write an explanation to the coder about how the game should work. It might be less work to rework the world building to not have puzzle rooms than to actually flesh out all those details.
I agree that world and character are good. It's more that some of it isn't crucial to the actual mechanics of the game itself, so when you actually write your transcript, you can save time by sticking some of that backstory into optional parts that you can write later or just allude to some of it. Keep that in mind during the writing. That's what I meant by that.
Don't forget, you also need a large amount of writing for the beginning of the game. For an NTR game, if you don't like Amara and don't believe in the relationship between Obi and Amara, then you won't feel the gut-punch when things go wrong. So you need to have lots of writing to establish that relationship at the beginning too. That beginning would be a full game in itself for other authors. I've been suggesting ways to make the later sections of the game simpler because I'm worried that you'll run out of steam by the time you finish writing the beginning sections.
It always comes down (IMO) to whether or not you can flesh out the details vs. just have a good idea. But if you can do that with your puzzles, I don't see the reason why you wouldn't be able to do it. After all, if there are absolutely no choices, then it is much more a story than a game, right?
DeleteGranted some games take the puzzle part to be merely fetch quests, or asking/telling characters about things to proceed. But even in a literal puzzle, so long as you have a clear idea of what needs to be done, I can't see it being an issue.
And I think that is the main issue when getting a game out there - being able to know exactly what needs done vs. a good idea. If you can get it all typed out and done by about the end of May I'd say go for it.
I will mirror a bit of what Trout said in watching where you go with it in regards to time. You might find yourself not in the mood, or maybe you are wanting to write but things come up as they often do. With a tentative timeline, it may be best to at least primarily focus on the things that are required, keeping other ideas either in your mind or as little snippets/summaries somewhere until you hammer out the main game. Then if you still are feeling it, going back and adding a lot more fluff/backstory/etc. can be done.
I don't know if you mentioned or decided yet as to whether you want this in an option-based system like Twine or a parser-based one where the player types out what to do, but try to also keep in mind about what a player, who has no idea about your game and idea, might do.
We can't capture all of these, and play testing will definitely help, but it is something to always keep in mind as you are writing - especially when puzzles are involved.
Whatever your choices, best of luck to you! Can't wait to see your transcript.
I have a pretty simple game idea, it's called "Confessions of a Personal Trainer" or something like that. Basically, the player is a personal trainer who gets a sexy new client and if you play your cards right... Etc etc. Pretty straightforward!
ReplyDeleteI envision the game playing out as a series of days, like,
Day 1 - light cardio/aerobics
Day 2 - weight training
And so on.
And in each day your actions are restricted (ask for a blowjob on say 1? Game over) but flirting, etc leads up to the full sex scene.
Very simple set up, writing wise at least. Not sure how complicated the programming would get with things carrying over from day to day.
Dealing with the day progression should be relatively simple with variables tracking whatever needs to be tracked.
DeleteThe rest could be simple or much more complex though, depending how it is done. Nailing down exactly what can be done each day and how it is presented to the player to be done. For instance, 'flirting' is pretty open.
In a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style it may be easy enough, with a list of choices you can pick from. But if it is a more traditional parser game, you have to make sure to express it some way to the player.
Would there literally be a 'flirt' command? Would simply not doing certain actions (going too far) work? Certain conversations need to be done (and hinted at to the player in some way)?
It's all those internal things that need to be thought about.
I'm sort of picturing it in something like Twine I think, say for example you're doing some weight training,
Delete"You quickly set up the weights to give enough resistance so that she'll feel it, but not so that it's too heavy to lift easily. As you do, you notice that she's bending over to tie her shoe again. Maybe you could [[cop a quick feel, and play it off as an accident]] or [[look, but don't touch]].
Maybe there'll be an "Attraction" score based on your previous actions, and based on that certain actions will change or be unavailable. Maybe that would make it too complicated though?
You seem to have a thing for the fitness theme!
DeleteIt can be tricky writing scenes with flirting where the characters have to fall in love. You already encountered problems with that while writing conversations on your writing salon game two years ago and you mentioned similar problems in your blog last year. To be safe, you should reduce the number of flirting stages to as few as possible. Perhaps if you flirt successfully over two days, that's enough to win the girl?
You should also decide whether you want puzzle-style flirting similar to the Dinner Plans minicomp game where you have to find the correct setup each day for the game to advance or whether you want more open-ended dating-sim style flirting where there's an unlimited number of days and multiple possible actions that you can do each day and the player has to figure out what action is the right one to advance the plot similar to the Arthur Saxon style asstr games.
Keep in mind that the programmers will not do any writing or design any complicated game systems. They'll just code the simplest game that happens to match the game transcript that you supply. If you want some complicated game system, you have to describe in detail how it will work so that the programmer can code it up without having to do any creative game design work themselves.
The idea of trying to have sex with a client over the course of several days sounds very similar to "You've Got Mail" by Broken Knight, or "the Parlor" by A. Ninny (two of my favorite games.) If you're thinking twine for a dev system, I could definitely handle programming it; I've already got limited experience with twine. The day/night thing could be simplified by having each day take place through several passages. However, if you want to do something parser based, then TADS 3 would probably be the best language for me to use; I've also got experience working in T3.
DeleteHaha I wasn't aware of any fitness thing until I started writing AIF, I think I was drawn to it in that it's a somewhat intimate way for strangers to interact, and it hadn't really been done before. But, at the same time, yoga pants? What's not to like?
DeleteI think I like the more dating sim style, where each day has a number of actions and play progresses differently depending on what they choose. And yeah, the flirting thing should be sped up quite a bit. I was too concerned in my previous games with creating plausible situations for strangers to have sex which, come on, this is AIF, a plausible explanation for sex isn't really part of the equation! So I think if you do things correctly for two days you'll get some kind of sex scene, but maybe not the full one. Again, everything might change based on what works best, gamewise.
Roughly, I think each day will be split into a few different sections with a choice in each section. I think the choices will be pretty static, but the responses will change based on the players Attraction score. That might create a lot of extra writing but there's also only one room (unless I want like a sauna scene or something) and two characters so that cuts it down a lot.
And Blind, I had forgotten about those two games, I'll give them a replay and see if I get any ideas.
If there's only a single Attraction variable, then it should be manageable. You just need to work out what actions will be available in the game, and how they affect and are affected by the Attraction variable. Do you really need to allow multiple actions per day? It seems like it doesn't add much more over having a single action per day. You could still have some secondary choices after you choose the main action for the day's workout session.
DeleteVery good points lost. I think keeping the number of choices down to a couple each day would help things along very nicely, and the single "attraction" variable (as compared to having various variables to track different states within the game).
DeleteSeattle Man, I mostly agree with your assessment about plausible explanations for sex in AIF. Just because plausible explanations for sex are important (if not required) in real life doesn't mean they're important or required in AIF. The only time implausible situations don't quite work are in the case of abstract challenges, as discussed in an earlier AIF central blog post.
Also, how are the writers getting matched with the programmers? Just whoever sees an idea they like grabs it?
ReplyDeleteLater in the Writing Salon, you supply a complete transcript for a playthrough of the game plus any preferences for game engine etc. Then whoever sees an idea they like can grab it. If there's any leftover at the end, I'll program those.
DeleteCan someone post about the "If You Write It, They Will Come" Writing Salon on Splendid Ostrich's Newlife Discord in the "Writer or Coder" section for me? I'm having problems making posts there. One of the options during the Writing Salon is to create Newlife user-created scenes, so I think some of the writers there might be interested. I tried posting about it in the comments of the Newlife blog, but no one reads that.
ReplyDeleteOk, so I've started writing my game over the last week or so, and I've come to some problems.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't much of a game, I'm having trouble coming up with interesting choices for the player and it was ending up like erotic literature with a couple diverging paths, which is not what I'm interested in.
Any tips? I came up against this problem with my previous games & I wasn't too happy with the results then either.
I think this Personal Trainer idea (as it stands now anyways) is too complicated once the story gets going. Since it's still early on in the salon should I scrap it & move on?
What choices have you thought of so far?
DeleteHave you tried altering the existing relationship between the character and the woman?
Maybe they've long been friends, and they both secretly have crushes on each other, but they're too afraid to date each other. The time that they spend in the gym together is one of the rare times that they get to be alone together with each other, and they use the time to get to know each other better and to shamelessly flirt with each other.
Perhaps the woman works at a local restaurant, and the trainer has met her a few times there, and they've flirted with each other there before. Maybe the previous flirting was done in a friendly way or even ironically. The trainer is surprised when the woman signs up at his gym and personally requests him as her trainer.
The woman could not have a lot of confidence in her body. She always jokes about how she can barely do a push-up. She is easily discouraged and has heavy preconceptions about what sort of exercise is "appropriate" for her. As the trainer gently prods her along, she gains more confidence in her body, feels sexier, and starts making passes at the trainer. This scenario might be interesting in that there would be no sexual ulterior motive in the choices of the personal trainer. Setting up a good training plan that increases her fitness level would lead to more sex.
Perhaps the woman is an old acquaintance who liked the trainer but always thought he was a bit of a lunkhead who just spends his time doing weights all day. During the game, he shows her his love of fitness, that he's more well-rounded, and that he's got a great bod.
I'll see if I can think of other ideas later on too.
The only real deadline for the Writing Salon is for the writers to produce a transcript for a playthrough of the game by the end of May. So if you do want to switch to something else, feel free to do so.
Those are good ideas!I was originally excited about the idea of the two characters being strangers and slowly working towards the sex, but as you advised at the beginning of this, that requires a lot more writing.
ReplyDeleteI do think I'm going to scrap this idea though, I was thinking of ways to tie the fiction to the gameplay more and thought, why not just make the scenario a game in the first place? Like strip poker or something. I eventually settled on two characters on a long car trip playing truth or dare. Kind of q hackneyed setup but all the player's choices are just the answers to questions, so it should be easy.
I've also decided the characters already know each other, and taking an idea from your suggestions above, maybe they've had crushes on each other for awhile, etc. So they will have sex at the end of the game, but the player can miss out on a lot of teasing, maybe a little exhibitionism if they mess up along the way.
Thoughts?
I think I mentioned a similar idea on a previous writing event. It can work, as anything can in the fantasy world of AIF, but you might consider a few things:
DeleteSince there are dares involved, I imagine it is 2 passengers and not a driver. So who is driving? If it is a parent, you have to think of how they get away with what they do - though again, it is fantasy, so having a ditzy oblivious parent would work though obviously it wouldn't be very realistic.
If it is someone else, then who? A friend? Would they possibly be watching in the mirror? Enjoying it? That is assuming something like a van or SUV, but I suppose you could also go for a limo if there was a reason, with the privacy partition up. Or a large RV where you could create some small semblance of privacy.
And when/where would the sex occur? At the end of the trip once they arrive at a hotel? In the car? Would the driver have to leave for some extended reason to make the sex plausible? Or get stuck in different hotel rooms? Or is everyone an adult so they already have their own rooms/decide to share one?
As for truth or dare it should work - it has been in many AIF games and can be tailored to what you want. Just be sure to think ahead of how it will go. Will the same questions always come up in order? Do you have to do certain truths/dares to unlock other ones? Get certain variables up? What are the effects of each one? If you can't think of it all at once, making a chart or list on paper/computer document can help.
And yes, the idea of them knowing each other does make things much easier. Granted, there are strangers having sex all the time in AIF - and even real life - but it has to be a choice you are making, as it can change the tone. A friend who has a crush on another but never made a move is one style. A stranger who wants to hook up at a party is just as realistic. But AIF doesn't have to be realistic at all; giving a girl her lost mirror is enough for sex, it just depends on what style you are shooting for.
I would also note a few things to think about. You are getting rid of the first idea, but try to keep in mind why. And then try to translate it to your new idea(s). Will these same problems come up in your new idea? Are they universal? What are some ways you could work on fixing them? Is there a particular hangup that is causing issues? Are the ideas too general and not fleshed out enough to begin working with? Feel free to discuss it with us of course, but even just asking yourself those sorts of questions can be helpful.
As a final note, it may help to remember that this is more of an exercise than anything and doesn't have to be your master work. You can write AIF where strangers get to know each other and eventually have sex, fall in love, or whatever your inclination is. But it doesn't have to be this one. You can just have fun, flex your creative writing skills, and just have an entertaining little game at the end. Maybe later you take the idea and run with it, making something bigger. Or do an entirely new project. Just don't sweat it too much!
Nope, I had planned on the player being the driver, I think the teasing and lack of direct action will make the payoff that much better.
DeleteI think the set up will be that they were going on a road trip with a group of friends, and the other friends bailed at the last minute, and will meet up later (perhaps intending to set up the two main characters). So the main sex scene will be at the end of the trip, at the hotel or cabin or whatever.
I think all the questions will be available from the beginning, and asking them in the right order will be they key. And if you ask certain ones at the right time, it'll change the sex scene at the end. Or maybe in different ranks, from least intimate to most. I haven't worked out that part yet.
As to your point about the previous idea in relation to this one, I think the old idea just wasn't focused enough. Personal trainer meets sexy new client sounds good on paper but once I got started I had a lot of trouble coming up with flirty situations and then translating that into something fun and interactive as a game, rather than just reading an erotic short story.
I think with the truth or dare idea, the game is right there in the truths and dares, and answering questions is an easier framework to work with as a writer than the much more broad personal trainer idea.
But yeah, I still have the work I've done on it and it is an idea I'd like to return to someday.
Strip poker is hard to program. Truth or Dare can be easy or hard depending on how it's set-up. For the setup you've proposed, you really need to lock down the rules on what happens if you do things in the wrong order and why or a programmer would have no idea on what to program.
DeleteI still think the Personal Trainer idea could work if you could find the right angle.
Just making the two characters young and horny might be enough. She wants to get in shape before bikini season. She loves flirting and she loves a good time. The dynamic would then change. It's not a question of whether she finds you attractive. She's more than willing to have sex with you. But she's not going to get sexual with you right in the gym with everyone there. At least, not unless she's really horny. You could even condense the game into one day then. You going shirtless at the pool or while spinning. Feeling her up during stretching exercises. Pair yoga poses. A very erotic massage. Then a finale in a hot tub or sauna.
Dinner Plans had a full romance with a stranger in only three or four scenes together. The scenario was different because a lot of scenes involved the player showing off his skills to impress her or showing her how much he had in common with her. That's harder in a gym setting because there are fewer opportunities for the trainer to show his personality and interests in the gym, but it might work for a personal trainer making house calls. Then the player could bring things to the house or do some training outside. She might mention her favorite ... He has one in his house and brings it as a gift. He goes on a jog with her and shows her a great spot in the forest for meditation.
You can go sickly sweet and have the woman be scarred and depressed from an accident. Her healthcare won't pay for more physiotherapy, but her family hires you as a personal trainer. You not only help her strengthen her body but help her strengthen her soul as well as you lift her spirits and convince her to leave the house and embrace life again.
You could also go the romance 101 route and have them fall in love right away but have some complication about why they can't get together and married right there.
Ok, good points guys. I'll work a bit on the Road Trip idea, and if something clicks, I'll go with that, if not I'll go back to the Personal Trainer and see if I can make it work.
DeleteThanks!
Great idea Seattleman. Best of luck with your next story idea.
Delete